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 FUNNY JOKE KO!!

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zikiy11
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 7:02 pm

BoyNextDoor[T.I.F] wrote:
si juan at si lord

si juan ay namamana ng ibon sa bundok

juan:ayun ibon haha tirahin ko nga chuuuuuuk ay putang ina di ko natamaan
diyos:oi juan wag ka nag mumura isang beses nalang papatamaan na kita ng kidlat

may nakita nnmn si juan
juan:ay ay un ibon chuuuuuuuk ay putang ina di ko nnman natamaan

diyos:juan makulit ka din ea no ito ang kidlat

si juan ay nakailag at di tinamaan

diyos:ay p utang ina di ko natamaan

hahahahahahahaha

takte natawa acu d2 ewuahaha ..
pati un . chinese tol wuahaha

lol!
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:02 am

manny pacquiao

Aling D: anak pag nanganak ulit c jinkey ee isama mo ung pangalan nating tatlo manny: huh?? may naisip kana ba inay?? Aling D: uu naman manny: ano? AlingD: edi DioManJi
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:59 am


Easy english - tagalog translation

Contemplate - konte ang mga pinggan

Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol

Ice Buko - oks ang buhok ko

Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis

Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya

Devastation - sakayan ng bus

Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas

Statue - Ikaw ba yan?

Tissue - Ikaw nga!

Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa

Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo

Deduct - Ang pato

Defeat - Ang mga paa

Detail - Ang buntot

Deposit - Gripo

Diploma - taga ayos ng tubo

City - Bago mag-utsu

Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna

Persuading - Unang Kasal

Depress - Ang nagkasal o kaya'y dyaryo

Defense - bakod sa bahay

It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod

Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (hik!)

Delusion - Maluwang (kung maluwang
ang damit, e delusion!)

Profit - Patunayan mo

Balance Sheet - What comes out after
eating a balanced diet

Backlog - bacon saka egg

Beehive - magpakatino ka

CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto

Debug - ang ipis

Defrag - ang palaka

Defer - ang balahibo

Deflate - ang plato

Detest - ang eksamin

Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V

Devote - ang boto o sasakyang pantubig

Dilemma - brownout o kaya'y hindi anim

Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane

Forums - apat na kwarto

July - nagsinungaling ka ba?

Thesis - sakit
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:55 am

Most of these Japanese words are adopted by Filipino language.
I'm warning you - makikitamo

Where are we going? - San-batayo?

Stewardees - Oto-san

Is this your car? - Otomoto?

This is my car - Otokoto

Sugar daddy/mommy - Otooto

Is this your property? - Arimoto?

Yes, this is my property - Arikoto

Is this yours? - Sayobato or sayoto?

Is this mine? - Sakinbatu

This is mine - Sakinitu

Can I have it? - Akinato?

You can have it - Sayonato

Can we have it? - Saminato?

You can have it - Sanyonato (plural)

You haven't washed your face - Mimutamatamo

You're so thin! - Kitanabutomo

We saw each other - Kitakami

We had reunion - Kitakitakami

Have a drink before you go - Tomakamuna

That was my assumption - Inakarako

Let's go! - Bachinatayo!

We will boycott the election - Dikamiboboto

Underarm odor - Kirikiripawa

Are you oppressed? - Minamatakaba?

I give up - Sukonako

Ouch! - Araiku!

What life is this - Hainaku

I'm going to leave you - Sawanakosayo

Just take it! - Sayonarang!

Skeleton - purobuto

You look like your mom - kamukamumamamu

You look like your dad - kamukamupapamu

Ugly - kamukamu or kamukanya

Pretty or handsome - kamukaku

Full of monkey - kamukanyo

Are you nervous? - kakabakabakaba?

Are you a loyal customer? - sukikaba?

Later - sakana

I surrender - sukunako

Just surrender - sukukanakasi

Remember? - naaararamo?

I remember - naaararako

Go and work! - ararona!

Can you see? - kitamoba?

I told you - nakitamo?

Let's go to your place - sanyotayo

[di ba familiar ang japanese words From: Japayuks in Tokyo]
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:52 am

si juan at si lord

si juan ay namamana ng ibon sa bundok

juan:ayun ibon haha tirahin ko nga chuuuuuuk ay putang ina di ko natamaan
diyos:oi juan wag ka nag mumura isang beses nalang papatamaan na kita ng kidlat

may nakita nnmn si juan
juan:ay ay un ibon chuuuuuuuk ay putang ina di ko nnman natamaan

diyos:juan makulit ka din ea no ito ang kidlat

si juan ay nakailag at di tinamaan

diyos:ay p utang ina di ko natamaan

hahahahahahahaha
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:50 am

Mental Hospital

Professor:Anu ba naman 2ng ospital na 2... wlang matino kahit isa

Sa Loob ng Malaking Silid

Professor:(nag drawing ng pinto at susi) Kung cno una makakalabas d2 maka2laya n....(nabura ang susi)

Nag Tak BUhan Lahat Ng Baliw Maliban sa isa

Professor:Aba, Ang galing nito ah.. Parang indi na baliw...Bakit indi ka tumakbo dun sa pinto???

Baliw:Eh, pano sla maka2alis... Eh, pano sla maka2labas Eh nasaakin ung susi.......

hehehehehe ^_^ Razz
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:48 am

promdi

Pare1: pre me joke ako!
Pare2: sige anu yun?
Pare1: ilan ang liter ng coke?
Pare2: Eh di isa lng!
Pare1: mali! apat!
Pare2: huh? paano? bakit?
Pare1: liter C liter O liter K liter E, di ba, edi apat, hehehe, eto pa, anung mas malaki sa city??
Pare2: huh? sige anu?
Pare1: eh di UTSU! hehehe eto last, anung tagalog ng street?
Pare2: anu??
Pare1: eh di diritsu!! get it get it!
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:47 am

Erap's Prayer

Gambling father
who art in jueteng
hakot be thy name
thy kickback come
thy wealth be done,
in Wack-Wack as it is in San Juan .
Give me this day
My daily bribe
And conceal all my sins
As I conceal those who sin along with me
And if I am Led into temptation
Deliver me from! criticism
For mine is the country,
its power, and its money
forever and ever. Amen.

Response:

Aba Ginoong Estrada
Napupuno ka ng kwarta
Ang panginoon ng jueteng ay sumasaiyo
Bukod kang pinagpala sa lahat ng bobo
At pinagpala ka naman ng kay raming
kulasisi mo.

Era! p's Mi ultimo Adios

Mi parte de jueteng wala na.
Mis compadres y lords nabuking na.
Los mansiones de mis
queridas ini-imbistiga
Mis amigos de la Camara el
ultimo pagasa.
galing ko no ryerson.. dami kasi ako jokes e
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:43 am

BARIL!

BOY:baril k b?

Girl: alm ku na yan,kce mukang tinamaan ka skn?

BOY: AY ANG KAPAL NG MUKA MO,ANG LAKAS KASI NG PUTOK MO EH...
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:43 am

pamana......

lola:apo alam mo naman na matanda na ako...
lola:kaya papamana ko na sayo ang aking mga hayop sakahan sasakyan at mga puno
apo:talaga po ! pero saan po iyon??
lola:sa facebook apo ang email ko eh hotlola21@hotmail.com
ang password
lick me baby143
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:42 am

bata kumakanta
bata kumakanta habang nanunungkit ng santol sa malaking puno....


"MAHAL KITA, MAHAL KITA,HINDI TO BOLA......


sagot ng kapreng nasa taas ng puno


ITLOG KO 'YAN, ITLOG KO 'YAN, HINDI YAN BUNGA..
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:40 am

Pageant Night Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion

The FINALISTS :

Miss America
Miss Spain
Miss Britain
Miss Philippines
Miss Iran
Miss India
Miss Japan

QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....

(Applause!.... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.

(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive.

(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves
QUESTION : And why do you say that?
MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door.....

(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night....

(Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....because it bows down after every performance.

(Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, opcors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis...
QUESTION : Chismis???
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language.
QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?
MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..

(STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: ..............   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:39 am

Low price tag


cars

ford lynx P100.00 only
factory defect = tambutso nasa loob

honda accord P50.00 only
factory defect = manibela dual shock controller ng play station


honda civic sir P50.00 only
factory defect = nasa ilalim ang pintuan


toyota corolla P50.00 only
factory defect = gulong, sing laki ng ferris wheel

cellphones

nokia 7110 P10.00 only latest model
factory defect = ringing tones kasing lakas ng busina ng barko

nokia 3210 P10.00 only
factory defect = bisaya lang ang language

nokia 6110 P10.00 only
factory defect = walang keypads


shoes

Bass leather P10.00 only
factory defect = balat ng lumpiang sariwa

Nike basketball shoes P10.00 only
factory defect = dual shock


Nike air jordan P10.00 only latest model
factory defect = may spikes

Nike basketball shoes P10.00 only
factory defect = may abs at airbag
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BoyNextDoor[T.I.F]
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PostSubject: .....   Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:35 am


Zodiac Sign


May magkasintahan nagsa-star gazing:
BF : Luv, anong zodiac sign mo?
GF : Zodiac sign? Ano yon?
BF : Yung Horoscope mo. Gaya ko, sa 'kin Cancer.
GF : Ah, ganun? Sa 'kin Almoranas!
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kyuusen27
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:54 am

gnun tlga pg mautak ang anak susme wahaha lol!
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cess
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:53 am

ou .. inosente mga mgulang wag nmn sana abusuhin
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kyuusen27
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:51 am

wahaha gnun ba cess wahaha

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cess
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:50 am

ito ung joke nua natanggap kouh s txt message nua ndi kouh mkalimutan eii
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kyuusen27
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:18 am

wahaha nkaka twa nga yan ih
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cess
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PostSubject: Re: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sun Mar 21, 2010 11:42 pm

waras hiya
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kyuusen27
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PostSubject: FUNNY JOKE KO!!   Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:53 am

Dear Anak,

Naipadala ko na 50 thousand pesos na tuition fee mo, panagbili na namin
ang mga kalabaw natin. Ang mahal pala ng kursong COUNTER STRIKE, wala na din
pala tayong baboy naibenta na din para dun sa sinasabi mo na project nyo na
NOKIA N75, ang mahal naman ng project nayun. kasama din ang 7 thousand
dun para sa field trip nyo sa MALL OF ASIA, anak malayo ba yun mag ingat ka
sa pagbibiyahe mo, isasanla palan namin ang palayan natin para mabili mo
nag yung instrumentong I-POD na kinakailangan mo sa laboratory nyo. Anak
komportavle kaba jan sa boarding house mo sa ba kamu yan sa VICTORIA
COURT - maganda ba dyan di ba mainit jan. Anak kamusta na pala yung group
project nyo na SANMIG LIGHT napailaw nyo na ba? mataas ba nakuha nyo na grado dun.

Anak sana bago pa maubos ang lahat lahat ng arian natin ay maka gradweyt
kana, walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mo sa SECRETARIAL, sana pag graweyt
mo makakuha ka ng trabaho kaagad kagaya ng manager ng kumpanya para mabawi
natin ang mga ari arian nating sa sanglaan. ay cya nga pala anak diba sabi mo sa
JOLLIBEE / MAK DONALD ka palagi kumakain ok ba naman sayo ang mga ulam dyan
baka hindi masarap kawawa ka naman.Eh yung school bus nyo na TAXI sabihin mo sa
driver mag ingat cya sa pag dri-drive.

Anak hanggang dito nalan at sa susunod ay ipapadala ko sayo ang pera na
pambili mo ng ALTIS na gagamitin mo sa VACANT SUBJECT mo.


Ang nagmamahal

Itang at Inang




parang ayaw ko na magkaanak kung ganito rin
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